Thursday, August 26, 2010

I'm back... but not really.

Hello, beloved ones!

I'm not on honeymoon anymore. I came back to the Realm of the Swedes on Sunday, with a bag full of ethanol-filled bottles. Well, at least two bottles of gin, one bottle of Vodka and a bottle of cheap whiskey. Don't come to me and say that Scandinavians have a liquor problem. We just like to binge drink a lot.

Anyway. On the plane back home there was suddenly huge flashes of lightning, and a deep voice among the thunder in the hell ridden sky that shouted to me: "I will strike upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who buy cheap alcohol in Spain and bring it across the borders of Europe!" I briefly wondered why Samuel was so angry with me, but I shrugged it off. What could he do about it, I thought.

He gave me fever, coughing and a cataclysm of snot. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I have blown half of my brain out of my nose, and coughed up vital parts of my intestines.

My point with this being that I don't feel fit to watch any film more mentally challenging than Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), and no movie more sophisticated than Dodgeball (2004). And even if I would try to make you suffer by reviewing the last one, the quality of my writing would not exceed that of Dan Brown's. You deserve better.

To quote Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich: Hold tight.

9 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Welcome back Lolita! I'm sorry you're so sick, but I find Disney movies do make a pretty good cure. Get better soon! :)

Emmy said...

Awww...I hope you feel better! And I had a question...since I'm new to the blog, I'm not sure who Samuel is...could you please enlighten me?

kalli said...

Looks like you better start drinking your liquor. It should help attack the plague that you seem to be experiencing.

Lolita said...

Elizabeth:
Thanks! I think I will watch Dumbo tomorrow ;) (Never saw it, actually! Got it on DVD from my mother-in-law.)

Emmy:
Thanks, and welcome! Oh, I referred to Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, citing God's words ;)

kalli:
Workin' on the whiskey! Nothing left for my husband, haha.

Darsh said...

Drink plenty of water.

The Divine Miss J said...

Aw sweetie. I've gotten better, no more fever for me. Yey. But I'm week as a kitten. Maybe whiskey will cure that too... hmmmm

Anyway, we need a evning with Mr Water you and I. :) I've just got the wounderfull Polyester http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082926/
That and maybe Crybaby? Hmm? And some bottles of wine!

Lolita said...

Darsh:
Booooring. Water is so overrated.

Divine Miss J:
I like the plural in "bottle of wine" ;) Whiskey is good for all ailments! My fever is gone too, only the coughing and the random weakness left. Waters, yo! Polyester is that movie that came with smelling sheets, right? I think the artist Mia Mäkilä told me that when I visited (she loved John Waters). It's a date!

Darsh said...

Alright well have a headache then motherfucker.

Lolita said...

Darsh:
Naww! Like you too!