I just found an entertaining website (Worth1000), that seems to frequently have photoshop contests. I found one contest with the name of "Impossible celebrity couples", which proved to have a lot of amusing photoshopped pictures! Not all were that skilled, but a lot of them were: here's a couple of my favorites.
Audrey Hepburn and Justin Timberlake by claudia.
Buster Keaton and Tara Reid by controlfreak.
Charlize Theron and Charles Bickford by Mandrak.
Clark Gable and Madonna by Shorra.
Claudia Schiffer and Peter Sellers by Mandrak.
Eddie Murphy and Bette Davis by emilliom.
Elijah Wood and Jean Arthur by carmsie.
George Clooney and Elizabeth Taylor by juicebx75.
George Clooney and Grace Kelly by hank101.
Humphrey Bogart and Scarlett Johansson by MarcusBCS.
John Wayne and Heath Ledger by mzpresto.
Johnny Depp and Ingrid Bergman by frank1956.
Laurence Olivier and Scarlett Johansson by oilcorner.
In celebration of the 100th post on Amanda Cooper's classic film blog A Noodle in a Haystack, she has put a lot of effort into creating a classic film survey - and of course I'm eager to participate in it. So, ladies and gentlemen (I guess that includes most of you): here are my answers!
1. What is your all-time favorite Clark Gable movie?
When it comes to "favorites" in cinema discussions, I am that kind of a boring person that simply won't answer - I just can't. I can have a favorite at the time, but the next week I might be in a different mood and have another one. In short, favorites are never a consistent thing when it comes to me. Therefore I will answer this question with two favorite Clark Gable films, one bad-guy-role and one good-guy. A favorite Clark Gable bad guy film is Night Nurse (1931). Only Gable could pull off a line like "I'm Nick... the chauffeur" and make it sound threatening. As for the good guy film, I will pick the first Gable film I ever saw: Mogambo (1953).
2. Do you like Joan Crawford best as a comedienne or a drama-queen?
I never cared too much for Crawford at all, though I admit that she is a really good actress. I like her best in Grand Hotel (1932), but I have no idea if her performance there fits in in any of the categories comedienne or drama-queen. She is delightfully toned down, and her character is both cynical and slightly amused. I'd pick Flaemmchen any day.
3. In your opinion, should Ginger Rogers have made more musicals post-Fred Astaire?
I don't really have an opinion, but what she did she did good - and I can't say I ever wished for her to do more. Her post-Astaire dramatic roles are superb, so why go on more with musicals?
4. I promise not to cause you bodily (or any other serious) harm if you don't agree with me on this one. So please be honest: do you like Elizabeth Taylor? Hm?
Haha. Well, I'm quite indifferent. She's amazing in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), but she doesn't always make that great of an impression in her movies. I like to watch her, even though I wouldn't see a film especially for her being in it. But I wouldn't change her as Maggie the Cat for any other actress in the world.
5. Who is your favorite offscreen Hollywood couple?
Jesus Christ, what a difficult question. It seems like most off-screen Hollywood couples get a divorce after a year or so, which make it hard to get used to them as a couple. In that case I will choose Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. They were married for 50 years until he died, and they look so genuine together. That's a couple I admire!
6. How about onscreen Hollywood couple?
Such hard questions to answer! Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart (damn, weren't they my favorite off-screen couple too...?)- the obvious sexual tension between them in To Have and Have Not (1944) is fascinating - I could watch that "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?" scene over and over again for eternity.
7. Favorite Jean Arthur movie?
After having seen A Foreign Affair (1948) for the first time recently, I think I will choose Jean Arthur as the congresswoman Phoebe Frost as my favorite character of hers, and also my favorite movie of hers. I was fascinated by how close to reality the film was, and deeply regret that I hadn't seen it before.
8. What was the first Gregory Peck movie you saw?
I believe it was either The Guns of Navarone (1961) or Cape Fear (1962) - I didn't instantly like him though. I thought he was so over-the-top American, but now I have gotten used to him and like him a lot. He's handsome too!
9. What film made you fall in love with Alfred Hitchcock? (And for those of you that say, "I don't like Hitchcock" -- what is wrong with you?!)
I don't think I have ever met a person who has seen a Hitchcock movie and not liking him! No, it would be something disturbingly wrong with them if they didn't like him, or just trying to be original by hating something others love. Okay, I'll answer the question now! I fell in love the first time I saw a Hitchcock film, when my classic film devotion was newly born. I believe it was The Birds (1963) I saw first, or if it even was Psycho (1960). Or was it Vertigo (1958)? Anyway - I fell in love immediately.
10. What is your favorite book-to-movie adaption?
That one I can answer without a problem - Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita (publ. 1955) into Kubrick's Lolita (1962). It's extremely faithful to the book (which is one of the greatest books I've ever read), and it has managed to capture the feeling too, something that must be very difficult to manage. But of course, now that I think of it... There are more favorites. I recently read Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights (publ. 1947), of which William Wyler's Wuthering Heights (1939) is a fantastic film adaption. He obviously decided to only include the first generation of the characters (the first half of the book), but in a film that is really wise choice. And Laurence Olivier raised the bar for Heathcliff characterizations to an unreachable height for everyone who ever tried to give a worthy performance of the character afterwards.
11. Do you prefer Shirley Temple as a little girl or as a teenager?
Ehrrmm... I haven't seen any Shirley Temple film! *trying desperately to avoid the rotten fruit thrown at me* But I have seen clips on YouTube, and from that I feel that Shirley Temple was best as a little girl. I can't believe that anyone anywhere in the world felt the need for her to grow up.
12. Favorite character actor?
Basil Rathbone! That is anyway the first name that pops into my head (naturally), but as to not complicate the answer I won't think about it further.
13. Favorite Barbara Stanwyck role?
Gaah! All these "favorite" questions! I can't do it! Okay, Baby Face (1933).
14. Who is your favorite of Cary Grant's leading ladies?
Katharine Hepburn, for sentimental reasons. The Philadelphia Story (1940) was one of the absolute first classic movies I ever watched. And re-watched. And re-watched again...
15. Bette Davis or Joan Crawford?
Bette Davis without a doubt. I never found Crawford interesting, while Bette Davis must be one of the most interesting persons in Hollywood history.
16. What actors and/or actresses do you think are underrated?
Laird Cregar is one who is probably not as underrated as he is forgotten. His acting is always close to magical. As for actresses my first thought is Gail Patrick. She always played "the other woman", while I have no problem thinking about her as a leading actress. Or was she one? I haven't seen too many of her films, but those I've seen always left me wishing for more scenes with her.
17. What actors and/or actresses do you think are overrated?
That was an interesting question! As much as I love Marlon Brando, I must say that he (and other method actors like Montgomery Clift) often are overrated. They are skilled, of course - but I think nowadays those are the actors that non-classic-film-devotees know the names of. And there are so many more great actors (and better) that are left out. As for actresses I'm tempted to say Joan Crawford. But perhaps I just don't like her because she neglected to wax her eyebrows in latter years.
18. Do you watch movies made pre-1980 exclusively, or do you spice up your viewing-fare with newer films?
I watch classics from every decade. Obvious classics, modern classics and will-probably-become-classics. It would be snobbish and foolish to pretend that good movies aren't made any more (even though you often have to turn your back to Hollywood to find them).
19. Is there an actor/actress who you have seen in a film and immediately loved? If so, who?
Haha, even though I just said that he was overrated - Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire (1951). God, how I drooled. And re-watched it. Drooled. Re-watched. And when that didn't satisfy me, I dragged my female friends down into the ditch of sin with me. I remember it as if it was yesterday: Three 16 year old girls having a house for themselves, watching A Streetcar Named Desire, drooling, swooning and eating popcorn. When I bought the film on DVD I gave away my VHS copy to one of them. She now has it as a decoration in her book shelf, to her boyfriend's frustration.
Another example is my favorite Swedsih drooling object Jarl Kulle. When I saw him as Count Malcolm in Smiles of a Summer Night (1955) the reaction was the same. That little trimmed moustache, that white shirt and that monocle, duelling for a lady's honor. Yikes. When I later saw another Ingmar Bergman comedy, The Devil's Eye (1960), I was lucky to find out that Bergman has cast Jarl Kulle as Don Juan - what a perfect choice!
20. Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire?
Fred Astaire. Even though Gene Kelly is talanted and funny, his perfectionism is felt right through the screen. Astaire isn't as good looking, but his charms and ease make him much more attractive and more comfortable to watch than Kelly.
21. Favorite Ginger Rogers drama?
I guess one can call Stage Door (1937) a drama, even though it's incredibly funny too. Anyway, she is adorable in it.
22. If you wrote a screenplay, who would be in your dream cast and what roles would they play? (Mixing actors and actresses from different generations is allowed: any person from any point in their career.)
I would like to see a film noir with Humphrey Bogart and Carole Lombard. I'd like to see her as a mysterious and dangerous temptress, smoking with a cigarette holder. She's accused for murdering her rich husband, and Bogart is the cynical detective that has to put aside his feelings of attraction towards Lombard in order to find out the truth about the case. Director: Billy Wilder. Or what do you think?
26. And now, the last question. What is your favorite movie from each of these genres: I'll answer this question from my present point of view, and what I would feel like watching today.
I just re-watched this pre-code masterpiece as the sky opens and releases an Atlantic Ocean outside. A not too inconvenient experience - especially when I'm accompanied by the newly purchased Mick Lasalle book "Complicated Women - Sex and Power in Pre-Code Hollywood" on my cigarette breaks.
Scene: The Baron's (John Barrymore) first encounter with Flaemmchen (Joan Crawford) is a perfect example of the magnificent camera work in Grand Hotel. Look how she constantly blows smoke in the Baron's face - not too respectable!
I won't go into the plot too much, for two reasons, being; just a few words about it wouldn't do it justice, and you don't need to know more than that Grand Hotel is a witty drama taking place in (what else?) the fancy Grand Hotel.
Hollywood veteran Lewis Stone, as doctor Otternschlag, couldn't be more wrong (and yet strangely accurate...) when he as both an introduction and a final statement to the film states:
"Grand Hotel... always the same. People come, people go. Nothing ever happens."
And I must say that I am quite impressed by the extra material on the Warner Bros DVD edition of the film. Aside from a short documentary on the film, there are amazing film documents from the Grauman's Chinese Theatre premiere of Grand Hotel - with Conrad Nagel responsible for all the movie stars checking in at the film theatre!
Well, what's the use of me telling you about it? Take a look for yourself here:
Another funny special feature is the 18 minute long Grand Hotel parody Nothing Ever Happens (1933), which is as hilarious as it seems hallucinogen inspired. Witty spoken songs mashed with Busby Berkeley girls, who simultaneously throw their legs in the air whether they are at the hotel desk or the busy kitchen.
The actors are no famous, and most of them only made about three or four pictures in total, but that only adds to the refinement of the famous actor/actress mockery. Greta Garbo's ballerina Grusinskaya is simply called "Madam", and the baron is simply "The Baron", while the other characters are wittingly re-named as Scramchen (Flaemmchen), Prizering (Beery's Preysing), and my favourite; Waistline (Lionel's Kringelein).
In short, it's a comical little gem! And have I been so nice as to let you watch it? Of course! It's totally bizarre:
Quotes
Grusinskaya: I want to be alone. I think I have never been so tired in my life.
Otto Kringelein: Wait! You can't discharge me. I am my own master for the first time in my life. You can't discharge me. I'm sick. I'm going to die, you understand? I'm going to die, and nobady can do anything to me anymore. Nothing can happen to me anymore. Before I can be discharged, I'll be dead!
Dr. Otternschlag: Believe me, Mr. Kringelein, a man who is not with a woman is a dead man.
Preysing: I don't know much about women. I've been married for 28 years, you know.
Grusinskaya: I don't even know your name. Baron Felix von Geigern: [laughs] I am Felix Benvenuto Freihern von Geigern. My mother called me "Flix". Grusinskaya: [joyously] No! Flix! Oh, that's sweet. And how do you live? And what kind of a person are you? Baron Felix von Geigern: I'm a prodigal son, the black sheep of a white flock. I shall die on the gallows.
Time to let you enjoy some colorized work of mine - I've been a little cheap on them lately!
This is that kind of film that is wonderfully amusing to read serious reviews about. "Lame excuse to put as many stars in a movie as possible" is one comment on IMDb. Oh yes, raising funds for the National Variety Artists Tuberculosis Sanitarium is a really lame excuse to appear in a motion picture for. (Notice that the film is in "co-operation with Chesterfield Cigarettes"...)
Anyway, this is a short, entertaining film stuffed with some of the greatest stars of that day. Let me describe the very simple story for you.
The films begins with a police officer, played by Wallace Beery, answering the office phone.
"What? A murder? That ain't news, we had three yesterday."
Let go for that. But at a Hollywood party the day before, Norma Shearer got her jewels stolen (or the gangsters Edward G. Robinson and George E. Stone got them stolen after stealing them from her) - now that's urgent business! Beery collects his men (one of them, Buster Keaton) and sends out a detective (Eddie Kane) to find out who among the Hollywood stars has the jewels.
Detective Kane investigates the many Hollywood stars (among them El Brendel, playing a Swedish waiter with an unplacable accent), until child star Mitzi Green solves the case:
"Mitzi, you just saved the plot of the story!"
"And the moral of this story is: Never spank a child on an empty stomach! [horrendous laughter]"
Now, how can you not love that? Maybe if you're that kind of person who only allows himself/herself to enjoy sophisticated, well-planned comedy, in fear that a cheap laugh might undermine his/her intelligence. I enjoyed it, and it seems like a lot of the actors did too.
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